We Can't "Nice" Our Way Out of This

Kindness, Compassion, & Love.

​These are the virtues I hold dearly. I believe in the power of kindness so much so that when my son was born, people would comment (like they do), "... as long as he's happy, that's the most important thing" I would immediately respond with, "NO, as long as he's kind, that's the most important thing." I felt it in my core. Kindness could remedy the world's injustice.

I still believe in kindness. But over the last few days...(the last few years, last few decades, last few CENTURIES) I realized we can't "nice" our way out of this. 

What has happened and what is happening in our country is abhorrent. Racism is the thread that weaves through our American flag. It is right there between the red, white, and blue. Racism is how our country was founded. It is what made it possible to massacre thousands upon thousands of Indigenous Peoples during the influx of English Immigrants (Pilgrims) and it is what makes it possible to massacre People of Color today. It is the same system of oppression.

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""Race" is a social construct designed to benefit the oppressor, and for that reason it exists." 
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-The Anti-Oppression Network

It is not by sheer luck that our systems are set up this way. They were designed this way. Intentionally. 

​You may say, "But I'm nice to all people." Great! That's wonderful. But have you done the work to understand how you may be upholding these systems of oppression and not realizing it? 

You can be two things at once. Nice and Unaware. or Nice and Silent. or Nice and Complicit. 

Believe me, it was a big ole' wake up call when I came head to head with the part I played in this web of oppression. And I'm still learning. I'm still making mistakes and getting it wrong, but I will never stop learning. This is for life. I'm so lucky I had that opportunity to wake up. It has made my heart grow exponentially.

We must be humble enough to find out what we still need to learn. Every moment we have the chance to change. Isn't that how the quote goes? 

So please, I implore you, my fellow nice white people. Please speak up. Say something. Do something. Anything. Do not remain silent. Call your state representatives, talk to your neighbors, your kids, yell your truth out the window, donate to an organization that supports racial justice, create a community workshop program, start on your own anti-racist education journey, whatever, to stop this cycle of racism. We cannot be passive with our kindness. Even with all of our "nice," we must change. No. Scratch that. We are REQUIRED to change. 

While we cannot change our country's history, we can learn from it and change its path forward. Lives depend on it. 
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Here are some resources to get you started.  

With all the kindness, compassion, and love I have in my soul, 

​Abby